The path isn’t straight. Today is July 25.
My mind is sending quite a forceful (and stressful) message to me in my sleep about my graduation. One or two dreams on the topic makes sense, but last night marked my third in a week. I’m no expert on the psychology of dreams, but I think I’ve got to work something out in the real world so I can sleep through the night without being worried I’m running late to a friend’s graduation party or forgetting to bring an important item to an event. I’m starting to miss the crazy adventures my dreams used to include. I’m waking up nervous and tense now instead of excited and in a good mood.
I took my time getting out of bed and was content to have a slow start to my day. I made myself a bowl of cereal and ate it while watching ER. My brother isn’t a big fan of medical dramas, or procedural shows in general, but I enjoy them. I’ve probably watched too many at this point. As much as I like the exhilaration and drama of the shows, I’ve never really pictured myself going into the medical field. I have no doubt I’d be able to become a doctor if I set my mind to it, but my heart’s never been on that path. I want to do good in my own way, but at least as of now that picture doesn’t include a lab coat and stethoscope.
Last night I’d sent an email about the Chancellor’s Leadership Class, and I saw I’d gotten a response this morning. There’d been a mixup with the form I had submitted for my availability, so I had to tell the program when I could attend class again. As of now I’m in a Tuesday section, but I asked to be put on the waitlist for the Wednesday section because it works in my schedule best. The added bonus of being in the Wednesday section is my suitemate is in that class. I hope everything works out, but even if I’m still in the Tuesday class I’m happy to have this opportunity.
When my mom woke up, she told me I needed to pick out any clothes I wanted to order at Kohl’s because she had a 30% off coupon she wanted to use today. I detest shopping and would rather study for a test or work math problems for hours before having to wander around a confusing store trying on clothes. I have no true sense of style or fashion, but I’m trying to change that. For the most part in high school I felt like I didn’t have the time to get a good night’s sleep and eat a relaxing meal during the day much less pick out a cute outfit. I have so much respect to all the equally hard working people I know who still managed to look amazing while killing the school scene, balancing extracurriculars and the countless other hurdles life throws at the unsuspecting teenager.
I did my best to pick out a few short and long sleeve shirts in colors I don’t already have. Once I’d compiled a few selections I thought would work, I decided to go through my closet to see what I should take to college. I mistakenly thought this process would only take an hour or so, but it ended up lasting at least four hours. I pulled out every item in my closet and sorted it on my parents’ bed with my mom’s help. I made three piles: take to college, keep at home, try on to see if it still fits. I kept most of my winter shirts and sweaters at home because I won’t need them for another several months. I did keep a few long sleeve shirts, as well as jackets and sweatshirts to bring to school because I know I’ll want them if I go hiking, the dorm is cold or fall comes early.
For the most part making selections was easy, but I did encounter an issue when I arrived at my socks. Apparently over the years I’ve accumulated an excessive number of socks, most of which I wasn’t aware I still owned. I like wearing tennis shoes because they’re comfortable, so I own a lot of low-cut white socks. I thought they looked fine, but apparently my mom couldn’t believe they weren’t completely white, so she collected them all and ran a load of laundry to bleach them. I could only tell a slight difference when they came out of the wash, but if she was happy then it was fine with me.
Once I finished sorting through my piles of socks, I put them away and separated out the ones I plan to take to school with me. I’m not sure exactly how much space I’ll have in my closet and room as a whole, so I’m trying my best to not overpack. I’ll probably still have more clothes than I will need, but it’s better to be over prepared than underprepared. One of the nice parts of going to school close to home is I can easily switch out my wardrobe as the seasons change.
After socks came shoes. I didn’t think I owned that many shoes until I had them all sitting on my floor. I’m planning on taking a shoe organizer that hangs on a door, so I don’t think they’ll be in the way too much. I’m not taking too many pairs, and once the warm weather ends the number of shoes I’ll have will shrink. If I end up taking up too much space in the room with my footwear, I’ll probably bring some back home, but I don’t think that will be the case.
Several hours and many outfit changes later, I was done with sorting through my clothes. I kept the few items I’ll still wear for these next three weeks out, but the rest I set aside. While I ate a sandwich, my mom and I ordered a handful of new shirts, which I’m excited to have. Going off to college seems so real now that I’ve started physically organizing my life. In less than a month I’ll be in a completely different place surrounded largely by strangers about to begin the next stage of my life.
In the evening after we finished eating, my dad suggested the four of us go to Andy’s Frozen Custard for a sweet treat. I pulled out my old yearbooks and looked into some of my storage boxes while I waited for everyone to get ready, but soon enough we were out the door. While we were in the car, my brother played Taylor Swift’s latest album, “Folklore,” and everyone talked and laughed. We ate our custard at Stephens Lake Park then headed back home.
My brother, mom and I hung out in my room for a while while I picked out the few pieces of jewelry I wanted to take to college. They teased me about how many blankets and pillows I have in my room, and I narrowed down a dress selection with their help. I kept two of the four dresses but decided to return the others because they weren’t as flattering. I also don’t wear dresses that often, so I doubt I’ll use them that much. Overall, the evening was lovely.
I’d initially planned on doing the second draft of my scholarship essay today, but college and clothing took over my life instead. I’m absolutely working on it tomorrow, though, because I want a strong shot at winning. I have to crack down on writing both the essay and my letters to friends and teachers otherwise I’ll push myself into a corner and end up resenting the work I started in kindness. Being “on” all day with little time to myself left me emotionally tired, so I was more than happy to get some shut eye and start fresh tomorrow.
“No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.” ― Maya Mendoza
How did you spend your 130th day of social distancing? Let us know in the comments below.
