Isn’t spring break supposed to be relaxing? Today is March 26.
Maybe it’s just me, but this spring break has felt anything but relaxing. For the last three nights, I’ve had a terrible time falling asleep. I turn off my lights, get in bed and cozy into my sheets, but as soon as I close my eyes I can feel the blood rushing through my body and hear my heart thumping like a rabbit on Adderall. I try to block out the noise in my brain, but all I can think about is what I haven’t done yet. Everything from college scholarships to that one email I received three weeks ago that I still need to respond to occupies my mind. I end up thinking myself into exhaustion.
By the time I actually fall asleep, my body feels so worked up and anxious it’s more like passing out after an intense exam while in the middle of a high-speed chase. Not exactly the peaceful send-off into unconsciousness I’d hope for. Even my dreams are stressed and bizarre. From what I can recall, I’ve had just about every variation of a strange stress dream I can think of, which makes going to bed not all that pleasant. As much as I wanted to have a calm, restful spring break, my worries about my grades, classes, graduation, college and the general state of the world have taken a toll on my psyche.
Unrestful nights aside, I made it a point today to balance the various aspects of my life, including relaxation, exercise and school work. I woke up as soon as my alarm went off, which I think is the first time in nearly a week, and got started on my day. After a simple Honey Nut Cheerios breakfast, I decided to complete yet another item on my homework list. This time it was finishing a review guide for my Advanced Placement (AP) Psychology class covering our first three units. Thanks to my thorough and specific note-taking skills, as well as a little help from Google, I was able to knock out the work in the span of about two hours. Looking back through my notes was a nice refresher, but I’m still going to schedule in a little more practice with my flashcards and highlighters to further solidify my understanding.
I checked my weather app periodically while working and noticed there would be a lovely period of warm weather and clear skies around 5 p.m. So, after begrudgingly changing out of my pajamas and putting on shoes, I went on another walk. The temperature was even higher than yesterday, so I wore short sleeves and my lightest jacket. Instead of tuning into a podcast today, I instead opted for some mellow tunes to pass the time. I took a different path than yesterday and ended up wandering through a neighboring subdivision full of newer houses and two glistening ponds. The air smelled great. I caught whiffs of fresh cut grass, baking spices and wood smoke drifting around on the late afternoon breeze. It was perfect.
Since my path was relatively short, the walk only took me about 45 minutes, but, nevertheless, I felt energized and calm by the time I returned home. I’m hoping to be able to complete a little bit of reading for my AP Literature class before going to bed, but my motivation may fade too quickly to make much headway. Even so, I plan to use my last three official days of break to breathe and forget about my worries, at least for a little while.
“Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters.” — John Green, Looking for Alaska
How did you spend your ninth day of social distancing? Let us know in the comments below.
