Happy snow day? Today is March 22.

Even in the middle of a pandemic, Missouri weather never fails to surprise and confuse me. After several days of glorious sunshine and semi-warm temperatures, I awoke to see a mini hurricane of white, wet snowflakes plopping down onto the plants outside my bedroom window. For a second I thought I was still dreaming, but when I stepped outside, the chill on my bare feet and the moisture quickly gathering in my bed-head hair told me otherwise.

I didn’t stay outside long, instead retreating into the comfort of my living room to enjoy the out-of-season snow shower as it obscured my view of the world beyond my window panes. I’d slept in late today though I woke feeling relatively unrested because of my late night. After completing The Rest Of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness yesterday, I selected my next book before bed: The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard.

I started reading it at 11:30 last night, intending to only use it to help put me to sleep, but my plan went slightly astray. I ended up reading until at least 1 a.m., which was when the battery in my reading light gave out to the point where I could no longer make out the words on the page. Consumed at last by darkness, I fell into a fitful, dream filled sleep that left me feeling weary yet invigorated to continue the story.

Making a nest for myself on the living room couch, I dove back into The Red Queen and finished it entirely in the span of a few more hours. Although it was nowhere near as depressing as Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, and it catered to the same demographic as other young adult dystopian and fantasy novels, I was not as

enthralled with the storyline as I would have hoped. I cheered for the heroine but shook my head when I noticed the same worn-out trends (a revolution against corruption, a quasi-love-triangle, betrayal and deception, etc.) appear as the plot progressed. I’m as much a fan of cheesy romance and epic superhuman showdowns as the next person, but by the last 80 pages of the novel I felt as if I was reading it simply for the sake of accomplishment.

In the span of less than 72 hours I read a total of roughly 987 pages. For someone who until three days ago hadn’t had the energy to read for fun for longer than she could remember, I felt pretty proud of myself for finishing the books off so quickly. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but think I was reading so quickly not because I was in love with the plot and characters but because I felt the need to prove to myself or some perceived outside presence I could. 

For as long as I can recall, reading has come naturally. Books are a place of comfort, solitude and shared experiences, at least between myself and the characters on the page. Somehow, though, I’ve managed to turn even this most pleasurable activity into a competition of my own creation, dooming myself to lose since I’m not sure what the rules for playing even are. I intend to keep reading during the rest of the “break,” but from now on I’m going to slow my breakneck pace to a more manageable (and enjoyable) rhythm. 

On a slightly different note, I realized for the first time today I should probably be taking better care of my personal hygiene, at least in terms of deodorant. Since my usual morning routine no longer exists, and I’m not going to volleyball practices and tournaments in the evenings, I’ve stopped putting on deodorant after waking up every day. I think not leaving the house or being around anyone except my own family has made me oblivious to the fact that people still perspire even when school is not in session. So, note to self, from now on I’m going to make it a habit to take a little better care of my clenlines. I’m sure anyone in close proximity will thank me for the change.

“Violence is not merely killing another. It is violence when we use a sharp word, when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when we obey because there is fear. … Violence is much more subtle, much deeper.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti, Indian philosopher.

How did you spend your fifth day of social distancing? Let us know in the comments below.