As the son of Korean immigrant parents, I grew up learning to practice and take pride in my culture. Whether it’s traditional ceremonies like Chuseok — the celebration of a successful year of harvest — eating Korean food or trying to converse with my non-English speaking relatives, my culture has been a staple for my life.

Learning about my heritage carried over into my early school days. Near the end of middle school, however, I came across Asian biases disguised as jokes, which challenged my belief that I should be proud of my heritage. For Asians, the wisecrack jokes usually involve succeeding at math, playing an instrument, eating rice and having bad eyesight. I never encountered these stereotypes at school, mainly because I went to a private school from kindergarten to eighth grade. Thus, I never came across an incident where my race stirred up conflict and never had to confront the harpensh reality of bullying based on racial biases. However, the summer before my freshman year, I came across an incident with jests that crossed the line between joking and bullying.

During my summer school physical education class, a group of boys — mostly white and all snoody — teased me because I was all alone near a corner of the gym. They mainly targeted my ethnicity and began referencing racist jokes. On the third day of class, the leader of the bunch asked if I was good at math because I was Asian. One asked how long I had been playing piano, blatantly assuming I played an instrument because of the color of my skin. Another pretended to hold an experimental flask and asked if I was all set to join the Science Olympiad team with all the other Chinese kids even though I wasn’t Chinese and didn’t plan on joining the team. When I thought I’d heard it all, the last boy sneered, “Have you ever had a dog before?”

As the guys walked away laughing, I remained mad but also confused. I felt like they weren’t necessarily wrong. I’d been playing cello for more than 10 years at that point, so the instrument joke wasn’t entirely false. Similarly with math, I happened to enjoy it because I was good at the subject. As I thought more about how many of the stereotypes I aligned with, I became more insecure about my identity and personality than before the episode.

I thought of my other Asian friends, and they too appeared to check the boxes of of race’s stereotypes. I worried the quips from the band of cruel boys weren’t just jokes: they were facts. I discussed the episode from my summer school class with my parents and explained to them how I felt. After a lengthy conversation, I realized there was more to me and my other Asian friends than just the racist stereotypes.

A talk with loyal and supportive people, from my school orchestra to my school friends I’ve known the longest, helped me discover while some biases applied to me, the whole point of them was to bring a person down. I talked with my family about the occurrence, and they helped me move on. What my parents and sister told me was that I couldn’t let a small experience like this mentally affect me. If these occasions became repeated problems, my family members and close school friends suggested to tell a teacher. If the occurrence was a lone one, this same support group told me the interaction was merely stupid high schoolers being stupid. With this advice I shook off the insults and tried to be less self-conscious by focusing on topics and events I was passionate about, like cello, golf, basketball, football and writing for the school newspaper.

Although not as frequently as before, I still worry about my self-image and try not to be “just another Asian.” My greatest fear is being mediocre, and I thought if I fit the description of a typical Asian kid, I would only be remembered as “just another Asian.” Fortunately, my parents and friends remind me to stay true to myself by being me. They say I shouldn’t try to be someone I’m not, and that real friends and supporters will accept me for who I am, no matter how quirky I may be.

Racist jokes are still insidious, even if they’re said jokingly. Anyone who experiences recurring issues should consult someone immediately. It’s also important to understand where the insulter is coming from. Looking back, the group of boys who teased me did it at a time when they were probably scared and confused going into high school. Sometimes it’s easier to lash out while stressed than to bottle up emotions. I’ve realized in any case of bullying, the oppressors try to bring down others because they have a deeper feeling of insecurity about themselves than the people they torment.

No matter how hard a bully may try to deter someone in a case of verbal harassment, it’s crucial for the attacked to not react in a way that will only escalate the situation. With the group of boys, I learned to not be afraid of their attacks on my race and heritage. More importantly, I discovered I should take more pride in my culture and heritage than before. There will always be hate in this world, but I try to constantly remind myself not to get too depressed about the hate. While I may fit some Asian stereotypes, I certainly don’t fit them all.

Additionally, my interaction with the bully group also extends far beyond my own ethnicity and race. This problem reaches to issues with all other races, usually based on racial biases. This can come in the form of racial profiling, discrimination and other forms of racism.

The summer school incidents revealed to me two things. The first is to always take pride in my ethnicity, especially when others try to bring me down because of it. I urge others and myself to not let it confine personal goals or aspirations.

At the end of the day, I owe it to myself to be true to who I am. Since then, I have pursued many dreams with music, sports and school, having successes and failures along the way. Even though I failed at times, what’s important is that I decided to go and reach for my goals without fearing how my ambition fit the description of a racial stereotype. Moving forward, I hope to continue to use stereotypes as a way to prove bullies and skeptics wrong and show them that race doesn’t limit a person’s ability or imagination.

Have you ever experienced stereotyping? Let us know in the comments below.