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Bearing News

The Student News Site of Rock Bridge High School

Bearing News

The Student News Site of Rock Bridge High School

Bearing News

Breakin’ up is hard to do


During my high school career, I’ve put myself through a lot of harmful things. Sophomore year, it was varsity cheerleading. As a flyer, I found myself falling out of mid-air, maybe into the arms of my bases, maybe onto the fuzzy, blue, not-so-soft mats on the ground.
Junior year, it was a common lack of sleep. “Junior year is what colleges look at the most,” everyone tells you. The academic pressure drove me crazy, and I often found myself up at hours of the night (or morning) no one should have to face, especially when those hours involve Pre-Calc and Advanced Placement U.S. History.
This year, it’s been band; a relatively small, non-muscular girl, waving my arms for an hour every morning as a drum major definitely took it’s toll, as in I’ve just recently stopped feeling the big bulging knots in my shoulders and neck.
But maybe what has really been harming my body the most this whole time is what I seem to consistently bring upon myself: breakups. No, I’m not the sappy, “Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me, boohoo, I’m so sad,” girl. I’m the girl my friends and family lovingly refer to as “The Heartbreaker.”
I’ll admit, the nickname is pretty well-deserved. Of my five relationships, I have been responsible for ending four. And the one where he broke up with me? That was probably going to end shortly anyway. So I am no stranger to the phrases, “It’s not you; it’s me,” “This just isn’t working out.” and “You deserve better.”
But looking back on all of the failed pieces of my love life, I have come to realize that what has caused me by far the most amount of stress in my high school career is this whole breakup pattern. I’m a girl, and although I can’t speak for every female in the world, I know I get very worked up over breakups, even if I am on the instigating end of things. I broke up with him for a reason, but I really don’t want that friendship to end. I don’t want to just go off and pretend like that past however many months of my life didn’t happen; is that a realistic way to live? And the line between trying to maintain a friendship but trying not to stay too attached is a difficult line to walk. It’s a downright stressful line to walk.
Do I talk to you a week later and try to see how you’re doing or do I leave you to deal with your own emotional catastrophe by yourself? Am I allowed to ask how you’re doing and try to have a conversation or is it too cruel for me to talk to you ever again after I (according to your friends) hurt you oh-so deeply? How am I, The Heartbreaker, supposed to deal with this situation? It’s hard on me too, not just you.
According to an article in “Women’s Health” magazine, the stress handled on either end of a breakup is not a fun thing for your body to deal with physically, as well as emotionally. If you have ever experienced a breakup, you can probably relate to the lethargy, lack of appetite and eventual desire to stalk the other person to see if they are faring any better than you are. But what you may not have connected to your severed love life is a sudden appearance of acne, high blood pressure, cold sores (because your ex essentially broke your immune system as well as your heart), and what’s more, your hair starting to fall out. It’s as if life decides, “Hey, way to go, on top of your boyfriend/girlfriend breaking up with you, the longer you keep caring, the more likely you are going to go bald!”
Having “been there, done that,” I can clearly see these breakup side effects in the history of my own love life. So the next time you are flipping the coin as to whether to end it or push through, or the next time you are indulging yourself on a tub of ice cream to fill the void in your chest, consider what exactly you are putting your body through. I’m not saying to stick with a terrible relationship, because God knows sometimes things just don’t work out the way we want. And I’m not saying a little chocolate sauce here and there is an awful recovery plan. But no matter how smooth and seamless the fall out seems, your body is still taking a toll.
Even the healthiest break up still hurts.
By Alyssa Sykuta
This opinion piece is labeled as such on the desktop version.

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  • O

    Oh BotherNov 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    I’m not what you might call “in touch with my feelings.” In all honesty I don’t understand the emotional comfort people gain from ice cream. But I have experienced this sort of situation. It is true that emotional stress like that caused by difficult relationships can have a negative physical effect. I have seen this firsthand. Relationships, as you so accurately described, are oftentimes more trouble than they are worth. Yet we humans seek them out with such untempered passion. Why is that? Is it our natural reproductive instinct? Or maybe a desire for a challenge. Or perhaps is it more of a personal longing for companionship that pulls us to one another? The opposite sex is a strange animal, alien to us. Perhaps that is why we have such a desire to bond with one of them and wait out the storm of stress and discomfort together, all the while holding the hand of someone so different from ourself and yet so similar. In conclusion, I found this commentary enlightening as to some of the effects of relationships with others, and a strong statement of opinion to an audience that has as much potential to disagree as to empathize. Well done.

  • J

    Julia SchallerNov 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

    I love this. It’s raw and realistic.

  • E

    El DiabloNov 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    I thought this was interesting, but I really wasn’t a fan of your arrogant, almost sarcastic tone. When you say, “or is it too cruel for me to talk to you ever again after I (according to your friends) hurt you oh-so deeply?”, it sounds condescending and makes it seem like you don’t have an honest regard for how the guy actually feels. Would a guy really want to talk to you all that much after you just broke his heart? As a guy who’s been in his fair share of relationships, one thing I know is that we need our space after that kind of thing happens. Also, it seems like you’re kind of bragging about being the a “Heartbreaker”, when I personally don’t think that’s necessarily something to be proud of. Overall though, I thought this was a really well-written, interesting article.

    • N

      No Efs LeftNov 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

      The “arrogant, almost sarcastic tone” is not directed at the guy that gets broken up with. It’s directed back at the writer. She’s recognizing (and mocking) her own ability to hurt other people. The term “Heartbreaker” is not something she gave herself; rather, it’s something other people gave her, and it’s something she’s not proud of. With that in mind, the point of this commentary is to show that the ‘breaker’ of a relationship still suffers after a break-up as well as the ‘breakee’. When she writes, “or is it too cruel for me to talk to you ever again after I (according to your friends) hurt you oh-so deeply?”, she means that she knows the other person is hurting, but she’s not doing so hot either. The point of this commentary is that the writer is NOT arrogant or proud, because she suffers too.

      • E

        El DiabloNov 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

        I understand that the point is to show that the ‘breaker’ still suffers as well, but I just thought the writer’s tone was inauthentic and stressed the sufferings of the writer a bit too much. I guess that I, personally, did not find it relatable because I’ve just never met a ‘breaker’ who eats a tub of ice cream and stalks their ex. Don’t get me wrong, I know just how saddening breaking up with someone can be. But I recognize that what I feel at that moment is NOWHERE near the amount of pain and heartbreak experienced by the ‘breakee’.
        I think I’ll just chalk it up to the fact that I have a different mindset than the writer. I value love a lot, probably too much at times. I’m a careful guy and I don’t date girls when I think that it’ll just “end shortly anyway”. I’m not saying that’s a good thing; in fact, I really lament my carefulness at times. But at the same time, it’s just how I see things. Love to me is something beautiful and painful and amazing and bittersweet. It’s indescribable and brings tears to my eyes and I value nothing more than it. Whether I’m the ‘breaker’ or the ‘breakee’, breakups aren’t some sort of cute, generic, novel scene with me crying and eating Ben & Jerry’s. Who actually does that?
        I understand that this article was probably directed towards females, which is probably another reason why I can’t relate. I don’t read “Women’s Health” and I probably never will.