Forget alcohol; blame society


Grace Dorsey

People always blame issues on Society, and you know what? They should.
Take, for instance, just the other night. I was working late in the journalism room, just making up facts to mislead the public (as the media are known to do), and I went to go get a drink from the water fountain. When I came back, to my utter dismay, the door to the classroom had been locked. It was immediately clear to me that Society had been sneaking up and down the halls of RBHS, just waiting to wreak havoc on students.
This, however, is only one of billions of problems that Society is accountable for. For me, personally, a huge nuisance is losing Snapchat streaks. You may be thinking, “Wait, isn’t that an predicament that arose from you and your actions?” but taking ownership would be too simple. You see, the first step to take when faced with difficulty is not to look within yourself and find a solution; the first step is always to look for a scapegoat. Society is simply perfect for this role.
Stub your toe? Blame Society! Miss the bus? Blame Society! Got a bad grade on a test? Blame Society. Most importantly: never, even for a second, think about your own responsibility or your own actions.
Another always applicable scapegoat is the media. I, myself, as a component of a news outlet, really enjoy both being blamed and blaming the media. I often do my best to misinform and sway the public. Really, my job as a high school reporter isn’t to offer insight on relevant topics, but to warp reality thoroughly and therefore deceive students.
The most efficient path to utter deception usually is comprised of the following steps:

1. Pick a topic, for example global warming (or as I like to say global warming.)

2. Do some research. Then completely disregard it in favor of your own views.

3. Write a story based completely on your personal opinion and blatant lies. Always remember to make up and/or misinterpret quotes as this action will most definitely take your story to the next level.

4. Congratulate yourself! You have successfully influenced society! Don’t be surprised if the entire world suddenly takes your word as fact because that is just what happens.

You see, anyone can be a part of the media. Don’t forget, however, that not only can you be a part of the media, but you can also point at the media for a myriad of mishaps, as well.
Can’t sleep? Blame the media.
Low self-esteem? Blame the media.
Didn’t like the outcome of the election? Blame the media.
The point here is that thinking through all the possible factors that lead to a dilemma takes too much effort. Pinning it on the media is an amazing substitute that I highly recommend. So go out into the world, spread the word. There is no need for problem solving as long as we can condemn society, media and the rest of the world.