It was three and a half years ago on a cold snowy night when I first heard Maria’s voice. There was something about it I just couldn’t place. The hairs on my neck stood up, and my body went into an almost trance-like state. I closed my eyes, and my muscles began to relax.
Her accented voice moved closer; I began to get tingles. Her lips moved from my right ear to my left, and I struggled to keep my eyes open. I began to enter the best slumber of my life, all thanks to Maria’s sweet inflections.
OK, OK, I’ll stop before you start to think Maria is some sort of “lady of the night” or even worse, my girlfriend. While my time with Maria had been incredible and unlike any other, it had all occurred in the form of a 17 minute video released by a YouTube user named “Gentle Whispering” who by this time you know better as Maria. And while I didn’t know it then, this video would be my introduction to one of the most important parts of my daily routine: ASMR.
ASMR, also known as Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, is a euphoric experience that can be categorized as maybe one of the greatest feelings in the entirety of the world. I take that back; probably the universe. ASMR is often felt when one hears a certain tone or type of sound, eliciting “a euphoric experience characterized by a static-like tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine, precipitating relaxation” according to the wonderful website that is Wikipedia.  
Sounds unnatural, right? I know. When I came across my first ASMR video it was by complete and total accident. I was in the ninth grade and had become increasingly sick of not being able to fall asleep until around the midnight. So I opened the YouTube app and like any other 14-year-old at the time searched for videos entitled “relaxing sounds of whales.” To answer your question, yes, I did think it would work. While the sounds more or less just gave me nightmares, they did do one thing right. They lead me to Maria. There she stood, glancing at me from the related videos column, blonde hair, blue eyes and all, I couldn’t resist.
Since our fateful meeting I have relied on Maria and hundreds upon hundreds of different “ASMRtists” for both relaxation and sleep coming from multiple different forms of ASMR including role plays, eating sounds, personal attention and soft spoken whispering.
I imagine this is where you start to get to the “Wow, John is weird” phase like many other people whom I’ve told about my ASMR addiction. You know what? There is some validity to your point. I’ll admit that watching a woman pretend to be a travel agent or caress a camera so someone, goodness knows how far away, can experience the phenomenon that is ASMR, is in practice, incredibly kooky and even just downright bizarre. However, that’s exactly what makes the ASMR community so incredible to be a part of.
For example, my mother used to need sleeping pills or the occasional glass of wine before she could have a restful night of sleep (sorry, Mom, I realize this makes you look like some kind of desperate housewife.) When I suggested she try ASMR, she scoffed. One week later before heading to bed she revealed to me that ASMR was a “miracle.” My work had been done.
The sensei of slumber, the director of dreams and the skipper of siestas, ASMR has turned me from an insomniac into a sleeping machine. So, yes, while ASMR may be some cult-like phenomenon in your mind, maybe you, like me, can find your Maria.
What do you think of ASMR? Leave your comments and questions below.