[vc_custom_heading text=”Seven Seconds” font_container=”tag:h2|text_align:center” google_fonts=”font_family:Roboto%3A100%2C100italic%2C300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C500%2C500italic%2C700%2C700italic%2C900%2C900italic|font_style:700%20bold%20regular%3A700%3Anormal”][dropcap style=”flat” size=”5″ class=”A”]O[/dropcap]nce upon a time, two girls entered sixth grade — strangers to each other but bound to meet through mutual friends. Each had a distinct personality. They faced each other, ready to make new friends. Unfortunately, that’s not what their first impressions of each other were. Rest assured, sleepovers and afternoon shopping trips were to come, but when they first met, it seemed as if sophomores Becca Wells and Chloe Sage were archenemies.
As a self-labeled “independent, stubborn, strong-headed person,” Wells could not stand the apparently opinion-less Sage.
“I met her in middle school, and it sounds really bad, but she just seemed kind of dumb, and she didn’t have a personality of her own,” Wells said. “Having friendships with people who don’t have strong opinions or views can be kind of difficult for me because I want to see what your opinion on Plato’s ‘Allegory of the Cave’ is, but if you don’t care or don’t have the ability to form your own opinion, it’s hard for me to relate to sometimes.”
Sage’s mutual dislike grew from Wells’ aloof attitude and obsession with school grades, but fate was at work, waiting for that pivotal moment in which dislike turned into like and eventually became a lasting friendship. The chance to turn those negative first impressions around came two years later. In eighth grade, Wells and Sage were put in the same science class at Jefferson Junior High School, jump starting their relationship.
“We didn’t have that class with any of the other friends we had in middle school, so she wasn’t surrounded by their influence,” Wells said. “We sat together and … she didn’t just follow other people. She had an interesting personality and her own opinions, and since we had to work together a lot, we just got to know each other a lot better than we did in middle school, and my view of her changed.”
Forced to work in a team-building environment, both parties encountered an opportunity to combat the ill first-impressions with a stream of projects and labs. Since second-guessing every lab data collection was not an option in the fast-paced environment, Wells and Sage learned to trust one another, a decision that would lead to the strong bond of friendship between the two.
“She is one of the most caring and trustworthy people I have ever met,” Wells said. “After having to be in a more teamwork-oriented environment with her, I saw that she’s incredibly dependable, kind and a lot more intelligent than I gave her credit for when I first met her.”
Just as a guest’s first impression of Cinderella would have been that of a maid rather than an heiress, it’s easy to see that first impressions are often grossly inaccurate.
“First impressions a lot of times are really wrong,” Sage said. “I can tell that now through a lot of people that I’ve met and talked to, but I think without those first impressions, you never really delve into a relationship with anybody because you wouldn’t be interested in them at all.”
While Sage and Wells had three years to correct any misjudgements, other aspects of life don’t allow for as much flexibility. For example, during a job interview, there isn’t a wide margin of error to fix a botched first impression.With time limits and the world of work constantly nagging at an employer, first impressions aren’t formed to encourage a lasting relationship. The purpose of the interview is to determine whether or not a potential employee’s personality fits with a specific workplace community.
“With interview questions, [interviewees are] so focused on answering a question and not focused on what [the question is] really looking for,’” Dr. Jennifer Rukstad, principal, said. “There isn’t a right answer to the question. There’s this over-concern with, ‘I want to get the answers right’ as opposed to, ‘I just want to help you understand who I am’. Those are different things.”
As with most interviews, acing the questions is a top goal, but the formation of the first impression happens earlier than expected.
While the common view suggests the interview starts when the interviewer and interviewee meet, reality says employers form their first impression from the first point of contact, which often happens over the phone. In addition to being polite and courteous during the actual interview, interviewees should also use a professional tone when setting up the interview itself.
“It starts when the first contact is made to set up the interview which can be sometimes frustrating because interviewees don’t often realize that’s probably the beginning of their interview,” Dr. Rukstad said. “[Make sure] you are respectful, that you are detail oriented, that you’re on time—all those things are kind of important.”
Based on Dr. Rukstad’s experience as an interviewer and an interviewee, while a first impression can never be changed, it can be challenged. If the negativity of the first encounter carries over and continues throughout the entire meeting, the first impression becomes solidified and just becomes a observation.
While preparing for an interview can seem overwhelming and nerve-wracking, University of Missouri assistant professor of piano pedagogy Dr. Paola Savvidou supplied a few tips on interview preparation. Even though the music sphere and the world of work seem like two foreign galaxies, auditions and interviews both require a good grasp on how body language channels confidence. Dr. Savvidou’s instruction and expertise clearly shows this overlap.
In her course Movement and Wellness for Musicians, Dr. Savvidou devotes a class period entirely to learning how body language might be perceived by potential interviewers or judges at an audition.“The pointers I give are smiling, eye-contact, strong handshake and sitting with good posture,” Savvidou said. “I suggest breathing exercises before interviews [and] auditions as that tends to relax the body if one feels nervous and anxious. Ideally, one should have a the perfect balance of relaxation and excitement. You want them to know you are excited and enthusiastic about the job [or] role, but you also want to come across as someone who knows what they are doing and are very comfortable with their work. The most important thing, though, is for people to be genuine and true to who they are in an interview, [so] not faking it. Employers can see right through that.”
On more musically-focused encounters, like auditions or performances, the musician’s body language stems from their repertoire.[/vc_column_inner][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner]“First and foremost, students have to be confident with the music they are performing,” Savvidou said. “They have to have learned it thoroughly, thought about it, processed what they are trying to communicate and analyzed it. If they are not confident with the music, their body language will betray them immediately.”
Wells understands the importance of internalizing repertoire all too well. As a ballerina and musician, Wells is well aware of the power an air of confidence and expressive body language holds. In her experience, mental preparation is just as important as technical skill. While the dance or music itself is essential when performing, a calm and composed mindset and body language is what makes the show enjoyable.
“The audience, or judges, if it’s at a competition, are judging your ability before you even move,” Wells said. “They’re judging your opening pose, is your technique good or even just how you get on stage. With dance, you’re performing the second you even hit the stage whether your music started or not because everyone can see you and so it’s very important to already be in the mindset.”
Even though first impressions in all aspects of life call for confidence and a pleasant attitude, Wells believes not all types hold the same significance in a person’s life. Those for personal relationships are not only more easily fixed but matter more for the future, based on Wells’ experience. For judges, the first impression may carry more weight for a moderate span of time, but the impact of it is only limited to a single performance.
“If I’m going up for a ballet solo and I just walk on to the stage and just sort of stand there, I’ve been docked immediately. Nobody’s going to take me seriously,” Wells said. “If you’re having a conversation with someone, you’re having a bad day, and you came off a little grouchier than intended, that’s more easily fixed and part of it is because you’re going to see that person again. With a band or dance performance or competition, you might see the audience later or have judges again another year, but you’re not trying to actually form a relationship so it’s like the first impression is more permanent, but it’s also less important because it doesn’t affect any aspect of life besides that performance.”
Well’s and Sage’s friendship is just a testament of how big an impact a first impression for a lasting relationship can have. In a span of four years, their animosity toward each other melted away and they transformed into each other’s life raft and trustworthy confidant.
During a particularly stressful and downright bad month, the two decided to take a weekend out of their lives to wander the mall, releasing the strangling holds of life and adsorbing each other’s love. On the road to releasing the stress, Wells and Sage stumbled into H&M, where “the most atrocious” dress and pant suit awaited them. As part of the New Year’s merchandise, the dress and pant suit looked like “confetti threw up on it” and was just so ridiculous, the two had to try it on.
“It’s not even our most important memory, but we both had a month [where] a lot of bad things had happened,” Wells said. “We were like, ‘We’re just going to try these on for the heck of it’ and it was just really nice to see her happy and genuinely just carefree because I knew she’d been stressed out for a while and we just put on these atrocious clothes and it was just really nice. She just looked genuinely happy and she was enjoying herself.”
With many more memories of the loving care the two provide each other, Sage jumped at an opportunity to express her gratitude for Wells.
“This year and last year, Becca and I became really, really close friends, almost like sisters,” Sage said. “She is so great and she’s always there for me and I’m always there for her and we just kind of push off of each other. Sometimes we … disagree, but we fight for like two seconds and then it goes back and it’s like nothing even happened because that’s how good of friends we are.”
Reading on the Infobruin that students were invited to nominate someone for the ‘Bruin of My Life’ award, Sage joked to another friend about nominating Wells. When that friend encourage Sage to follow through and complete the nomination process, Sage sat down, filled out the nomination form and wrote an essay describing the evolution of their friendship.
The news that her nomination letter was selected to be presented at the fall assembly came in her AP World History course. Called to the principal’s office via the classroom phone, Sage initially wracked her brain for any reason she would be called in to meet the principal. Upon entering the principal’s office, relief quickly replaced her uneasiness as she was directed to the activities office instead, where she was told the delightful news.
“I was so happy because I knew if it wouldn’t have been chosen, Becca wouldn’t have heard it in the same way, so it was really exciting,” Sage said. “I realized that she is such an influential person in my life and I don’t think I tell her that enough. I don’t think she hears enough how much she’s appreciated and so I wanted to make it clear to everybody.”
As the gym filled with students for the fall assembly, Sage prepared herself to reveal the story of one of her most valued friendships with the disliked middle-school peer who became her best friend.
“It was a little bit nerve-wracking, but then I also like being front of crowds and I looked out there and there were like all the people who I knew,” Sage said. “Then I looked down and Becca’s in the band section and they’re all looking at me and Becca was like almost in tears. It was really cool seeing her get that recognition that she deserves and everybody else hearing that, too.”
While the ‘Bruin of My Life’ award was a heartfelt declaration of appreciation, there’s no doubt that for the two friends, the real reward is each other’s comforting, understanding and caring company. Although their friendship didn’t have a fairy-tale beginning, it seems well set on the path to a happily ever after.
“I didn’t realize she was willing to do something like that,” Wells said. “It just kind of solidified what we already had; ‘You’re really important to me, I’m really important to you.’”’
By Alice Yu[/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][TS_VCSC_Icon_Flat_Button button_style=”ts-color-button-emerald-flat” button_align=”center” button_width=”100″ button_height=”50″ button_text=”Previous” button_change=”true” button_color=”#ffffff” font_size=”18″ icon=”ts-awesome-chevron-left” icon_change=”true” icon_color=”#ffffff” tooltip_html=”false” tooltip_position=”ts-simptip-position-top” tooltipster_offsetx=”0″ tooltipster_offsety=”0″ margin_top=”20″ margin_bottom=”20″ link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bearingnews.org%2F2015%2F04%2Fimmeasurable-moments%2F|title:Immeasurable%20moments|”]This article is the second in a series. Select “Next” to view the next article in the series, or “Previous” to view the preceding article. Return to the Quick Navigation.[TS_VCSC_Icon_Flat_Button button_style=”ts-color-button-emerald-flat” button_align=”center” button_width=”100″ button_height=”50″ button_text=”Next” button_change=”true” button_color=”#ffffff” font_size=”18″ icon=”ts-awesome-chevron-right” icon_change=”true” icon_color=”#ffffff” tooltip_html=”false” tooltip_position=”ts-simptip-position-top” tooltipster_offsetx=”0″ tooltipster_offsety=”0″ margin_top=”20″ margin_bottom=”20″ link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bearingnews.org%2F2015%2F04%2Funder-pressure%2F|title:Under%20Pressure|”]